Author's Note: Tangerine is a one-part story featuring Morgana Wolff, Thornton Wolff, Jamie Jolina, and various other familiar faces. I highly recommend listening to the song that the story is named for. I must warn you, this story is more adult than what I usually write. There's nothing graphic or anything, but the whole basis of the plot means that this is definitely PG-13. There may not be a happy ending.
Without further ado, I present to you Tangerine!
Summer came early and stayed late in Sunset Valley. This year was no exception. On this particular Sunday the sun had risen by six in the morning and was still high in the sky at four. Morgana Wolff was alone in the house, mansion really, that she lived in with her husband. The house was too big for the two of them. When Morgana was alone her home felt cavernous. When she spoke the sound echoed, though she did not speak often. She saw no point in carrying on a conversation with herself. Morgana longed to fill the house with children; however, Thornton despised children. He went to great lengths to prevent conceiving a child. There would be no little Wolffs running around the house.
Morgana had been alone since Thursday, when Thornton left to go on another one of his business trips. Thursday and Friday had not been so bad. Morgana kept busy at her job, working extra shifts as a pediatric nurse in the hospital. Sleep was easy when she was exhausted. The exhaustion kept her from dwelling on the nature of Thornton's so-called business trips.
Morgana stood, walking over to one of the giant windows facing the private road that led to the Wolff estate. She pressed her lips into a thin line, balling her hands into fists. Her heart ached. Who did Thornton think he was fooling? Morgana knew Thornton better than he realized. Despite what he thought, she was not stupid. She shivered as she thought about when it must have begun. Morgana remembered it clearly.
Over a year ago, Thornton took his wife out to dinner to celebrate a promotion he'd received at work. He had been putting in a lot of overtime and he knew Morgana was displeased. It was a pleasant evening in early April. The air was balmy, the flowers were blooming, and temperatures had not yet risen about seventy degrees.
After dinner Morgana persuaded Thornton to walk across the street to the park. The spring festival was in town, hadn't he heard? It was almost closing time, surely there wouldn't be many people. Luckily Thornton was in a good mood and did not need much persuading.
For a brief moment, everything felt perfect. Thornton was fastidious and hot-tempered. Morgana was gentle and soft spoken. Generally speaking Thornton walked over her without resistance, putting his needs far above hers. Consequently the Wolffs were seldom happy at the same time. Right now, as Thornton led her in a slow dance, Morgana was happy. She had learned to take whatever brief moments of happiness she could get. Loving Thornton wasn't easy.
One missed step and their perfection was shattered. Morgana apologized profusely, to no avail. Thornton no longer wanted to dance. He wanted to go home. He had work to do, didn't Morgana know that?
From across the park the woman in the kissing booth watched the arguing couple. Well, mostly Thornton was talking and Morgana was trying not to cry. She excused herself to her husband, hurrying to the bathroom to compose herself. She wasn't supposed to let him get to her like this, but today had been particularly hard. Her sister recently had a baby, a painful reminder of Morgana's empty nest. Once she had recovered, she exited the bathroom and went off to find her husband.
He was deep in conversation with the blond woman running the kissing booth. He stopped talking abruptly as Morgana approached, giving the woman a curt nod for a farewell.
Morgana glanced back over her shoulder. Undeterred, the woman was waving enthusiastically at their retreating backs.
"I didn't know you were so interested in animal welfare." Morgana said.
"What?" Thornton asked, irritated.
"That's where the proceeds from the booth go. To the animal shelter." Thornton's eyes looked glazed. He was tuning her out again. Morgana sighed. "Never mind."
"I didn't know you were so interested in animal welfare." Morgana said.
"What?" Thornton asked, irritated.
"That's where the proceeds from the booth go. To the animal shelter." Thornton's eyes looked glazed. He was tuning her out again. Morgana sighed. "Never mind."
Once home, Morgana took a shower and got ready for bed. When she came out of the bathroom Thornton was talking on his phone in a hushed voice.
At the time she had assumed it was work. Now she wasn't so sure.
Morgana headed into the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. That incident by itself would not have been enough to spark concern. She waited as the machine worked, tapping her fingers on the kitchen counter. There was a small ding. Morgana picked up the hot mug, ignoring the dull pain in her hand caused by the heat.
No, that one incident would not have been enough. Morgana walked out onto the deck to drink her coffee, exhaling slowly as a breeze caressed her cheek and ruffled her curls. The air smelled of salt. She could see their private beach from the deck as well as most of the town.
Morgana was not thinking about the view as she sat and drank her coffee. Two weeks after the spring festival, Thornton took a business trip over the weekend. When he arrived home he didn't talk about it much. Neither of those things were out of the ordinary; Thornton took lots of business trips. There had been nothing tangible to suggest that this one was any different. That didn't make the sinking feeling in Morgana's stomach go away. As she did the laundry that week she thought she'd detected the slight odor of tangerines. It hadn't been enough to really suggest anything. Again, that came later.
Spring turned to summer, summer to fall, and Thornton was taking more business trips and working more late hours than ever before. Mrs. Wolff had her suspicions. He was coming home smelling of tangerines. Neither of them used orange scented shampoo, aftershave, perfume, or cologne. Morgana learned that the blond woman from the kissing booth was named Jamie Jolina. Jamie transferred to Sunset Valley after a sexual harassment lawsuit at the hospital where she worked in Bridgeport. Morgana had encountered her briefly a few times, but Jamie worked in the ER so there wasn't much overlap between the two of them. Morgana had just gotten her lunch when Jamie walked in looking haggard.
She headed straight to the coffee machine, ignoring Morgana's greeting.
Unfazed, Morgana made an attempt at conversation when Jamie sat down with her coffee.
Her attempt at starting a conversation was rebutted. Morgana could no remember what she said or Jamie's reply. The words didn't matter; the significance lay in the undue harshness of her tone.
If Jamie was looking to provoke a reaction from Morgana, she was unsuccessful. Morgana ate while Jamie drank her coffee, the tension in the air palatable.
Jamie finished first. She washed her cup before walking out past Morgana, who was still eating.
Suddenly Morgana felt sick to her stomach. She put her lunch down half eaten, no longer hungry. As Jamie walked by her, Morgana had caught a whiff of the now familiar scent of tangerine.
Suddenly Morgana knew. Thornton was having an affair with Jamie Jolina. It made sense. Jamie was everything Morgana wasn't- driven by her work, independent, beautiful, and a social butterfly. In comparison Morgana felt boring and insignificant. She had never really been sure why Thornton chose her. It wasn't until after they were married that she realized being chosen by Thornton was not necessarily a good thing.
After finishing her coffee, Morgana washed up in the kitchen. Searching for something to do as she waited for her husband to return home, Morgana scanned her bookshelves for something to read.
She ended up picking something at random. Books usually provided a means of escape for Morgana, but today the words seemed to swim across the page. She couldn't concentrate. Where was her husband? What would she do when she saw him?
Morgana moved robotically, following a routine that had slowly become ingrained into her system. She went into the kitchen and started to make dinner, her thoughts roving as she chopped vegetables and listened to the hum of the food processor.
Winter had been unusually cold this past year. Snow was an oddity in Sunset Valley, though New Year's Eve saw four inches. The Wolffs were hosting a New Year's party. There was small talk and the elaborate dinner Morgana had prepared. Now the Wolffs and their guests were milling around waiting for the stroke of midnight.
The Landgraab family were in attendance, as Nancy and Geoffrey were both coworkers of Thornton and Morgana respectively. Nancy wore the pants in the family, often dictating to Geoffrey what she wanted him to do. Their unconventional relationship had resulted in sacrifices for both of them. Morgana could not help but compare their relationship to hers. While Nancy and Thornton both called the chops, the love in the Landgraabs' relationship was evident.
The Langraab's young son Malcolm was also in attendance, entertaining himself with the toys Morgana had secured for him. Thornton did not want to invite the boy, but Morgana insisted. Geoffrey had told her once at work about his reluctance to leave his only child with a babysitter. Besides, it was an excuse for Morgana to see a child outside of her work.
Jamie Jolina was also in attendance. Morgana had not been the one to invite her. Thornton claimed to have run into her at the grocery store, and upon finding out that she would be alone, took it upon himself to invite her. Morgana had been too busy preparing for the party to point out the obvious holes in his story- the main one being that Thornton had not stepped foot in a grocery store since before they were married.
Morgana's friend Pauline and her fiance Hank were "helping" Morgana in the kitchen. Really they were just making her feel awkward. Morgana would have to scrub that counter later. Thornton hadn't said anything, but he had probably noticed and would want the counter to be cleaned.
While her guests and her husband enjoyed themselves, Morgana was up to her elbows in bubbles as she washed dishes. Thornton did not see why she needed a dishwasher or a maid. Washing dishes was easy and cleaning the house wasn't hard. What else did Morgana have to do? Not wanting an argument, Morgana always kept her retorts to herself. Keeping a mansion spotless was no easy task. Looking over at the stove clock, Morgana saw that midnight was fast approaching. She abandoned her dishes and told her guests. They all gathered around the fire except for Jamie and Thornton.
Morgana found them over by the bathroom, their posture and their faces clearly showing what they were up to.
Morgana clenched her hands into fists. How dare they? Right here, in her own house. "I thought you might like to know it's almost midnight." Morgana said icily, stalking away from the pair and rejoining the rest of her guests.
Several minutes later, the Wolffs and their guests each greeted the new year in their own way. Once the last guest was gone Morgana and Thornton had a rather spectacular fight.
With dinner waiting for her husband and a clean kitchen, Morgana was up in the study playing chess against herself. Her jaw clenched as she thought about what Thornton told her that night. He'd seemed shocked that Morgana even knew how to raise her voice. He deflected all her accusations and promised he would be home more, that things would be better.
For a while things were, though over the last two months Thornton had begun to slip back into his old pattern. Morgana had just decided on her next move when Thornton called her name from downstairs. She went down slowly, not wanting to see him. Today she would confront him. Today she would leave.
Thornton pulled a stiff and unwilling Morgana into a kiss. She caught a faint whiff of tangerines. Bastard.
Thornton lead Morgana over to the seating area, plopping himself down on the couch. He gestured for Morgana to sit next to him but she ignored it, going to sit in a chair by herself. As Thornton began to fill her in on his bogus business trip, Morgana stared at him without seeing him.
Earlier that day she went to visit Pauline. Morgana did not have many friends. Pauline was the only person she could go to, and even then she didn't completely trust her. Morgana has beginning to feel cornered. She needed someone to talk to and Pauline was her best bet.
Morgana teetered on the brink of tears, anxiety clawing at her heart. She had just told Pauline about the affair she knew Thornton was having. Saying it out loud was more painful than she ever imagined.
Pauline responded by telling Morgana she needed to do what made her happy and that meant dumping the sorry asshole who was cheating on her and finding someone new. Pauline's vehement words did little to give Morgana conviction. Morgana was not as young as she used to be, nor was she particularly interesting or pretty. Who would want to be with her?
"Do you really think I can find someone else?" Morgana asked as she stood to go. Pauline smiled and nodded.
"Of course. You deserve better."
"Of course. You deserve better."
"Morgana? Are you even paying attention?" Thornton asked with exasperation, snapping Morgana out of her trance. "I asked when we are eating dinner."
"We can eat now." Morgana said vacantly. This morning when she left Pauline's house she had been confused. Just before Thornton got home she felt as though she knew what to do. Now, after seeing her husband again and being reminded of her insecurities, she wasn't so sure.
As she set the table and ate a silent dinner, Morgana felt her conviction slipping away.
As she washed dishes Morgana knew she needed to act quickly if she wanted something to happen tonight.
Thornton drank as he watched her clean up before inviting his wife to join him.
As she downed the beverage Morgana knew it was now or never. Before she could muster up the courage to speak, Thornton asked her if she was ready for bed.
"Ready for bed" did not mean "ready for sleep". Morgana knew what her husband expected.
When she looked in the mirror, Morgana did not like what she saw. She was a too thin, too pale, weak woman without enough backbone to do what was best for her. Back in college Morgana despised women like that. Now she knew how they got to that point.
When she excited the bathroom Thornton was waiting for her. Her anger from earlier was slowly replaced with nothingness. As Morgana joined Thornton in bed she felt empty.
After, when Thornton fell asleep, Morgana hauled herself over to the edge of the bed. What had she done? Why had she let this happen to her? Getting up, Morgana stumbled over to the closet and pulled on a robe.
She walked over to the window to watch the sunset, the ocean reflecting the colors of the sky. Tears streamed down her face as she stared out to sea, the awful empty feeling in her chest replaced with something that felt like broken glass. Despite everything he had done to her, she still loved him. He had made it painfully clear to her that her love was not requited. Maybe one day she would find the courage to leave Thornton and find something that made her happy, but that day was not today.